A section from my 2021 sitcom, Living with Gatsby. In 2021, The Great Gatsby will become public domain, so naturally, I must make a bad sitcom out of it.
DORRIS, a 22 year old grad school student, walks into her apartment. She is tired after a long day of work. She scans the room, yawning. The place is trashed.
DORRIS: The place is trashed!
GATSBY, 29, is laying on the couch with a lampshade over his head.
DORRIS: (cornily and drawn out) GAAATSBY! Did you throw ANOTHER party?!?
GATSBY: (mildly drunk) Mmgmgmggmn old sport
(Cue horrendous laugh track)
DORRIS: OOooOOOH Gatsby, YOU PARTY ANIMAL!!! YOU better clean this up before....SIDENY gets here! She'll be pissed!
GATSBY hits the speed dial on his phone for Nick. He mumbles "mmgmgmgmgm old sport" into the phone and passses out on the couch.
NICK knocks on the door. DORRIS opens it, and as soon as we see NICK there is a prolonged studio applause.
NICK: (cornily) GAATTTSBY!!!! Sidney's gonna be PISSED!!!! What're you doing!!
GATSBY: Old Sport, I threw a total RAGER last night...it was on fleek....I think I made it to first base with Daisy...
NICK: GATSBY!!! You GOTTA clean this up!!!
GATSBY: Aight, old sport.
He sits up, and takes off the lamp shade. Cut to a lamp without a shade. The light bulb is green. GATSBY slowly puts the lampshade back on. A jazz instrumental version of the theme song plays in the background.
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