finding
home
driving in Ashland, Ohio
night-soaked land and unknown roads
stretched to dirt—
the tap of night rain over
radio static.
Then double barrel headlamps streaming
past
two rocking chairs on a porch.
two rocking chairs on a porch.
A yellow light flickering by the back
door.
He probably had a shotgun behind his
back watching me walk
up his driveway, a small upright dash
growing
between the curtains in his window.
I probably had a gun by my chest.
I asked the shirtless old man in
overalls,
“Excuse me, sir,
do you know the way to 71?”
and letting go of
wet steel
at the bottom of his cement stairs,
held for not knowing
what else to do, lost, at one end
of a dirt driveway.
I remember
pushing forward on a bike
the first time,
a thin balance struck without knowing
how,
and kneeling,
because others do, before a priest
with arms raised
in a quiet holy voice singing to me but
not to me—
I remember his mumbled voice and thick
fingers pointing:
“You just head there— look for
signs.
You’ll find a way.”
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